By Pritha Lal
Springville, Utah, USA
Yes ladies and gentle (or not so gentle ) men... no matter who has done the research and what papers have or haven't been published, men go through cycles. Oh yes! they do !!! Doesn't matter if they are married, were married, wish they were or weren't married, in love, out of love, wishing they didn't give a freak about love... all heterosexual women will unanimously agree that there is something called the "man"strual cycle. Of course, the men reading this page, will add spoonfuls of sugar, salt, or pegs or kegs of other liquid beverages to digest my comments; needless to say, it will depend on the time of the month and where in their cycles they are.
As women, we play various roles as daughter, sister, girlfriend(s), wife, mother, co-worker etc and in all of these roles, we have to interact with the "stronger" sex on and off. Nowhere are these cyclical behaviour patterns of men most apparent in these interactions, as they are in their roles as boyfriends and husbands and maybe sometimes rarely as co-workers.
Let's talk about the spouse first, as most of my captive audience who humor me by reading this post are married. I remember a week after I was married (to the man I am still married to for nearly 12 years), I took a day off from work and arranged his closet (the Godrej almirah, commonly seen in most homes in India) and was phenomenally pleased with my handiwork and the sweetness of my gesture, of course. I got all dolled up for him to come home that night and swoon over my thoughtfulness etc etc.
Instead, the first reaction I got was one of slight frustration about not being able to find some item of clothing, followed by what remains a blur. I do recall that the interaction gradually increased in decibel and involved phrases "like my space", " I was doing something for you", "my mom used to do this", "I can take care of myself.." ,some torrential downpour of tears, followed by some more similar phrases. Suffices to say, the man arranges his own closet.
So where does the cycle come in, I hear a deep baritone mutter under his breath as one my readers obliges me. Well my friend, here is the deal, this is the same man who will willingly help out in the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, offer to vacuum the carpets, clean the wood floor etc, but ask him to take the laundry basket to the laundry room and OMG you gotta take a number. This is quite unlike the fairer gender, where it is important both physiologically and psychologically that the cycles stay consistent, which makes it so much easier to predict our mood swings, food or other cravings or lack there of.. etc etc..
For men, this feature is totally random. I mean the spouse could be out all weekend driving around town running errands, eating out, watching a movie and on the way back, it is like the the Spirit Donkey Eeyore has cast his magic spell of gloom and doom. HEAVEN FORBID if at that time u ask the question.. "sweetie are you ok?" and you get the "shut up or I will glare you down" glare, followed by.. "Am fine, will you quit asking that?" Okay then.. so be it.. be your grumpy self for all I care.. am not arranging closets anymore remember.. we all grow up.
The spousal journey is very interesting but being of a somewhat romantic disposition, I have been in love with the concept of love for several decades now. Tennyson remains my mentor about the justification of self pity of better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all etc. So watching people fall in and out of love like flies getting zapped by electric fly catching shock thingies, and being in the shoes or wings of a fly myself, it is not uncommon to see the early signs of the "man"strual cycle emerge even in the "non-committal-totally in love-putting one's best foot or other body parts forward" relationships.
In defense of all the married men reading this, you are not the only sorry lot in the cyclical situation. Your symptoms start a long time ago, both you and the silly bimbette that you may be dating have no freaking clue... until of course you shape up and get into an actual relationship with a woman with both brains and the other stuff.
Boyfriends, significant others, arm candy.. whatever u wanna call them are a fun lot. In the beginning they seem to be totally devoid of cyclical deviations as they kinda behave like bobble head dolls moving in cadence with their lady or any of her appendages, in total alignment, saying the right things at the right time, keeping shut when necessary ( do I look fat?... there is NO RIGHT ANSWER ) bringing flowers, soup, chocolate, small dogs or cats, whatever the situation demands. However, once familiarity sets in so does.. contempt? Na.. not that harsh, but yes the cycles. The compliments get infrequent, phrases like "what do u want me to say", "tell me what you want and I will get that for you on your birthday", "No I don't like your best friend" "oops , yes I do like her, but no I am not interested in her.." etc.. u know the routine.
Bottom line, women have been characterized with PMS, MMS, SMS, who knows what other acronyms when it comes to the "time of the month". A lot has been written about this stuff with scientific facts etc and yours truly will not refute any of those claims, the mood swings etc, because there are readers of this page who will publicly flog me about lying so I will happily and humbly concede that I am at fault. But this goes out to all skeptical men who think they are the most even keeled, practical, logical creatures of habit who are seldom ruffled by anything or anyone. Newsflash people!!.. that ain't true... You don't have to be from Mars or any other planet for that matter, because God's green earth provides ample examples.
How else do I explain a spouse who helps me with the creative title to this blog (although this term is found on the web in urban dictionaries), sends me the link before he contacts an old crush, will not wear buy sports shorts to go to the gym, instead wear frayed denim ones, goes into a silent mode almost every Sunday night, joins Facebook after his 40th birthday, won't eat breakfast before leaving the house and thinks little tomatoes should be left on the trees for birds to eat them!
So friends, doesn't matter if you feel like the bike or the biker in the relationship, the predictability and the unpredictability of the cycles are what keeps the views interesting.
Ladies in particular, accept the cycles in your man, learn from it, grow from it, know from it.. that what goes around comes around !
That is powerful information.. think about it.. USE IT....
Cyclically yours as always...